I will cut, slap, punch AND shit on a bitch today.
(via frangry)
Just make sure that bitch aint me. My face is already fucked
The AntiKris
Misanthrope. Sweetie Pie. I complain a lot, because there's a lot to complain about. I laugh a lot. I am just your run of the mill NYC asshole with lots of sass and a nice ass. This tumblr thingy is an attempt to let society into my mental ghetto and to share my daily irritations, inspirations, and investigations....
contact me at:
theantikrisnyc at gmail
theantikris.com
P.S., This is Mylover.
Icing my nose.
Drunken Asshole: 1
AntiKris: 0
Some drunk asshole pushed me into the wall outside the store. Cops came, nose bleed, puffy cheek. Awesome day
Whoa. Dad’s backyard. He said they’ve got 36 inches so far
I have a mouse. He came out to look for some food just now, clumsily alerting me to his presence. I rose to confront him, which he seemed to expect. There we stood, in my kitchen, in a Mexican standoff. I looked right into his eyes, he into mine.
Time was frozen. I was holding my breath without knowing.
He ran.
I had barely noticed the small crack in the wall, so I didn’t anticipate the move he took. By the time it had even registered, he was gone. Since then, I’ve been unable to take my eyes from the little crack. It feels much larger now, a vessel to another world filled with the strange and unwelcome, all potential visitors.
TL;DR: I’m buying some quick-setting cement and some fucking mousetraps tomorrow morning, goddamn it.
Mousetraps are cruel, dickhead. Get one of those sticky things and then set it free. Be humane or GTFO!
I've lost a bunch of followers after my Jersey Shore rant.
Now that is funny.
On Training....
- Me: I texted him to say it was sweet that he called so he'd know he did something right
- Crotchrocket: it's like you're training a dog
- me: i know
- if only it were as easy as some piddle pads and liver treats
- CR: some combination of steaks and blowjobs should do the trick
For realz, yo….
I WANT THEM TO GO AWAY. NOVELTY OVAH!
Retard
