The AntiKris

Photobucket Misanthrope. Sweetie Pie. This tumblr thingy is an attempt to let society into my mental ghetto and to share my daily irritations, inspirations, and investigations....
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theantikrisnyc at gmail

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Anonymous said: you're white.

I hadnt noticed

I’m sort of seeing a dude who has accused me of being a trendy little hipster because I drink PBR.  I had to then explain to him that no, I am not a trendy little hipster, but was a broke barfly in Brooklyn and these bad boys go for $2.  I dont know what’s worse, being a trendy hipster or a broke ass drunk?  Now I appreciate the value in a PBR, even though I can afford the far more prestigious beers.  I mean, a 24oz tall boy for $1.50 at CVS? Am I right?

I’m sort of seeing a dude who has accused me of being a trendy little hipster because I drink PBR.  I had to then explain to him that no, I am not a trendy little hipster, but was a broke barfly in Brooklyn and these bad boys go for $2.  I dont know what’s worse, being a trendy hipster or a broke ass drunk?  Now I appreciate the value in a PBR, even though I can afford the far more prestigious beers.  I mean, a 24oz tall boy for $1.50 at CVS? Am I right?

Awe. I’ve been gone for a while. I forgot what it’s like to have haters. How precious

Maybe if you shut the fuck up and read something deeper than a Kim Kardashian profile in People magazine you would know that what seems like a stupid Internet campaign actually raised awareness and money for a cause. You’re welcome.”

Yet, you follow me?   

PMS Rage Rant

The Ice Bucket Challenge is really fucking stupid and I am becoming more and more irritated with it.  Like, just donate the money.  I dont buy that any of these morons are actually donating money so what’s the point? Do you feel like you’ve helped the search for a cure for ALS because you’ve poured this chilly water over your head?  Go volunteer to help someone with late stage ALS because it’s a disease that is so debilitating those who suffer from it literally cannot do anything for themselves.  I’m sure they’d appreciate your $10 or help over your momentary brain freeze.  #idiots #whitepeople

izzyb412 said: What California lacks in pizza, it makes up for in burritos.

This is true.  The Mexican and Chinese here is boss.  

Back by popular demand…THIS.  This a full 2 weeks early due to some birth control changes.  This has caused me to literally not stop eating for the past 2 weeks.  This has turned my boobs into sensitive little bitches. This sucks. Let’s go menopause…..

Back by popular demand…THIS.  This a full 2 weeks early due to some birth control changes.  This has caused me to literally not stop eating for the past 2 weeks.  This has turned my boobs into sensitive little bitches. This sucks. Let’s go menopause…..

So I’ve been in Santa Cruz almost 4 months.  I’d say things are going pretty well. I’ve got a new job, in a new career I like, moved into my own place right at the break I like to surf at, and it’s gorgeous out literally every single day. The weather here is incredible.  It’s foggy in the morning, but by noon it turns into a low humidity, 75 degree paradise. 

Do I miss NYC?  Yes.  A lot?  No.  I miss my friends, I miss my surf house in Rockaway, and I miss walking around all the time.  Driving makes you so lazy, and there’s something amazing about depending on your legs to get you where you need to go. Grocery shopping with a car is pretty dope though. 

It’s been a slow process with making friends, but it’s happening.   When people find out I came from NYC it’s like I told them I moved from Mars.  My personality goes over here like something of a sideshow. I’m a party trick, and I often feel like I’m being presented at Show & Tell.  “Hey guys, this is Kris, my bitchy NY friend, make her say something NY-y” I’ve placed myself right smack dab in the middle of “good vibes” land and I don’t think I was prepared!  While I am 75% less negative than I have been in the past, I will always be a cynical NYer and often my remarks are received with a look of absolute horror.  I kind of like this. 

The pizza is terrible.  It’s so terrible that I will not even drunkenly eat a FREE slice given to me at 1am.  I turn my nose up at that shit like it’s covered in dog poo.  The nightlife is really, really lame.  Think Staten Island with less hair gel.  I’m ok with that because I feel like my bar days are over, but I do miss the Turkey’s Nest.  There are a few dives here that I like, but the meth head clientele makes me clutch my bag and that takes away from the whole point of “unwinding at a bar”.  There are a couple good music venues I like to check out.  Don’t get a lot of the big name talent here, but I’ve always preferred the more intimate shows over the big money tours. 

The men.  Oh boy.  Well, being the “new meat” in town has allowed for quite a bit attention, but here’s the thing…Santa Cruz is a town of 62,000 people.  AKA, small fucking town.  Everyone knows each other.  Chances are someone I know here has fucked whoever is trying to fuck me.  Then there’s the flakiness.  It’s pretty much a given that plans in Santa Cruz are not meant to be kept.   This has always been one of my biggest pet peeves and living in a place where it’s, well, commonplace is driving me insane.  Nobody really works here.  Apparently I have one of the only decent paying jobs in town.  That being said, the men are all broke and lazy.  I have been on a few dates where I have actually bought all the drinks.  I guess chivalry is bigger out east because it’s non-existent here.  Really, I didn’t think I would ever connect  NY men and chivalry in the same thought, but here I am… I’ve always been fair in dating.  I never really expected a dude to pay, would almost always cover my half, or would even treat when finances would allow for it.  But here, forget it.  It’s like “dude, if you don’t want to buy me dinner, cool, but at least make SOME kind of effort if you’re even remotely interested in me!”  I’ve already dumped 2 people after a very short period of time.  The girlfriends I do have here all say they only date men who live “over the hill”, which means in the Bay Area.  However the laziness which resides in me will not allow for a commute of shame.  I like my dick convenient.  I remember when I lived in Manhattan and I wouldn’t even date a dude who lived in Brooklyn. If you were more than a $7 cab ride away, it wasn’t going to work. 

So besides the love life and lack of good pizza, I am happy here.  The beautiful weather and beaches keeps my spirits pretty high, and it’s been really nice reconnecting with my family.  I forgot how nice it is to be within a short drive of your parents.   I think I’ll stay.  May never get laid again, but I’ll buy a new vibrator and call it a day…

Santa Cruz. One month in.  I live here. <3

Santa Cruz. One month in.  I live here. <3

So this is happening in a few days.  Today I did a major grocery trip at Trader Joe&#8217;s and found Cookie Butter.  Oof.  I CANNOT PUT IT DOWN.  I&#8217;ve had a bottle of champagne, have given the side eye to so many children, and am just about to switch my one way ticket to CA in April to tomorrow.  This cold, this city, this period&#8230;it&#8217;s all killing me.  Oh yeah, about 30 zits, thighs have expanded into different neighborhoods, and I am probably the most unpleasant person in NYC, possibly the entire Eastern Seaboard 

So this is happening in a few days.  Today I did a major grocery trip at Trader Joe’s and found Cookie Butter.  Oof.  I CANNOT PUT IT DOWN.  I’ve had a bottle of champagne, have given the side eye to so many children, and am just about to switch my one way ticket to CA in April to tomorrow.  This cold, this city, this period…it’s all killing me.  Oh yeah, about 30 zits, thighs have expanded into different neighborhoods, and I am probably the most unpleasant person in NYC, possibly the entire Eastern Seaboard 

JK, I will miss you most of all.