January 2012
With Age, Men May Lose Thinking Ability Faster... →
shutupweirdo:tballardbrown:
I post this with no comment.
Last night
I had too much vodka. I know this because I woke up to my pile of crap that used to be inside my purse, now residing on the floor and also because I had an INSANE craving for a yellow Gatorade.
Drinking sucks.
“My penis is the cleanest thing in this bar”
– Matt Ockers
Chats with Matt
Me: How's my hair?
Matt: To be honest, your hair is never good. I mean, everything else is, but your hair is just frumpy. Is it always this bad? Has it ever looked good?
I have this wonderful person I work with named Matt. I don’t know what exactly it is, but he’s from another time in life. Everything he says is awesome. I’m going to quote him periodically. He’s insulted me worse than anyone ever has, yet…I adore him. There’s something about his respectful insults that make me giggle
“Well, retards generally have great bodies”
– Matt Ockers
Aromatherapy
I think everyone on my floor smokes weed…and I think everyone is smoking it RIGHT NOW. I walked out to get the rest of my laundry and I think I got a contact buzz. Too bad I dont really chat it up with my neighbors otherwise I could have a more convenient connect. How does one bring up that subject with a stranger? ”so like hey, are you the one who has been hot-boxing the hallway?...
I just had a good laugh at myself
So I am home (of course), listening to Pretty Lights, doing laundry and it just dawned on me as I was folding clothes….
You know your life is pretty fucking boring when your whole load of laundry from the previous week is nothing but work clothing and pajamas. No normal clothes, no hot panties, no mysterious stains to deal with.
I’m ok with this. My staycation has been fun.
You know how I KNOW I am over partying.....
I’ve planned NOTHING for my birthday next weekend. Usually I throw myself some big “I’m the center of the universe” party, but I just dont care this year.
I am about to toss $2500 in Mac products onto 3rd...
I am having several issues with all my toys….help please
First and MOST annoying is my Apple TV. When I play music through my itunes on my Macbook, it gets all staticy (spelling) sometimes. Do I have too many devices connected to my WiFi? Is this the issue? I’ve got my laptop, my roommate’s, both of us have iPhones, and both have iPads. And yes, I have security cameras, two...
Muzak:
The past week and a half JC and I have been rabbit-holing into new music to download and share with one another, and I am HOOKED. I have skipped having a social life pretty much since I started with this obsession and have been confined to my sofa. Honestly, I havent had so much fun in a loooong time! Anyway, you guys know my taste I think, email me suggestions you think I’d like!
And.......
Shut down the dating account again. #nevergettinglaidagain
Why are all the actresses fat this year?
Is this a new trend? I am ordering some french fries….fuck it.
Dear Random Asshole of the Night
Dont send me an email with all the things you want to correct about my profile. You arent hot enough to be a dick and get away with it.
Regards,
In tonight's version of The Fuck?
Some dude from ghetto stupid dating site emailed to say he only gave me 4 out of 5 stars because I am only 5’6 which is borderline short. Seriously? #nevergettinglaidagain
Passive Aggressive Penis
So on the stupid dating site that I havent cancelled yet, apparently the new thing for people to do rather than actually emailing you is to add you to their favorites and “let you know” they’ve added you.
This has happened a lot since I rejoined. However there’s been only ONE of those passive aggressive peens that was hot. I chose to email the hot one and ask “so...
What do I need to download in order to open the...
Someone smart please email me at theantikrisnyc@gmail.com
Just rejoined the dating site tonight because I...
And the first person to email me is one of JC’s best friends. My PSYCHOTIC ex boyfriend keeps showing up in my matches, and now my friend who killed himself just showed up in my quiver.
This is a sign. I am done with this site…..
2012 thus far.....
Has not got off to the greatest start. With learning of the death of my friend I’ve been kind of a disaster with going out and drowning my sorrows. I am not happy about this. I still havent gotten laid. I tried to light a joint on the stove and burned my eyebrows.
I think I am going to make tomorrow my “restart” day for 2012. I’m just going to try and forget about...
“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. -Isak Dinesen”
– Isak Dinesen
Fact
I’m wearing a shirt right now that says “martinis make my clothes fall off”
My Dad bought me this shirt for Christmas
Currently Watching:
Law & Order SVU with my roommate
Mentally Challenged Sex Offender Dude: I was um rubbing on her and then um stuff came out of my privates and it felt nice.
Me: BWAHHAHAHAHAHA