December 2008
Two Things I Promise Not To Do At Your Party...
michaelorell:
1) Change the song because I think I know better
2) Whip it out
I am bringing my ipod because I DO know better and will whip out something most likely. Michael balances me out. xx AntiKris
Women, 88, yanks nude intruder's testicles. →
frangry:
She was picking up some logs for her wood stove.
The intruder’s name was Michael Dick.
I love life.
McGlynn!
Why are you not online?! I need to speak to you and am too lazy to reach for the phone
The Ghosts of NYE Past
My New York New Years Eves have all been pretty tame and boring. But via facebook comments at the moment, my good friend and I are reliving the past. I seem to have forgotton a lot.
1. The time she called me while I was working, crying because she was wasted and it was 1999 and was fearful we were all going to die the following year. I hung up on her.
2. The time we went to Saloun in...
AntiKris' Worst Moments of 08
1. Classified
2. Classified (Frangry knows)
3. Classified (Lidia knows)
4. Getting banned from The Brit in San Jose
5. Coffee crotch burn
6. Classified (Crystal knows)
7.” ” (Nudawn knows)
Only 7 horribly embarrassing moments this year….not too shabby
Shitfuck!
It’s already started snowing. So annoying.
Whoa
Looks like Tumblr went and lost its Got Damn mind last night. I chose to get an early start on tonight’s Jameson, try on my control top panty hose in an attempt to hide the Christmas buldge.
Sorry but
bikerfish:
birdgirl:
I’ve seen quite a few Tumblrs complaining that NYC is full of tourists around this time so I’ll apologize in advance: Manhattan here I come!
Though not technically a tourist (I was born at Tisch hospital and lived on the UWS until age 5) I’m still a ‘visitor’ but I promise that I won’t look up at Grand Central’s ceiling. Well, I’ll try. Really.
Do whatever you want....
“One day I would like to say it at a party, and then actually do it.
I can’t...”
– shorterexcerpts
I will always have mashed potatoes at my parties in hopes that I get to see an abundance of dick. xxAntiKris
“If it’s going to be that kind of party I’m going to stick my dick in...”
– Some dude on a Beastie Boys song
I would like to say this at a party tomorrow.
One of the funniest reviews I have ever read, The... →
(via feistyred)
I dedicate this to Crotchrocket since it’s his favorite fucking movie. He makes me watch it every time I come to LA. I am sure he will want to watch it when he comes next month for my birthday so maybe we’ll have a “Room” viewing at my place. xx AntiKris
It's No Pants Day →
Dear notnewyork
Shut the fuck up, dickbag. New York City is mainly transplants. Us transplants who have been here long enough know proper sidewalk/subway/cab/bar etiquette. So eat my big, fat, non existent dick. xx AntiKris
Observation
There are WAY too many tourists in the city right now. It is times like these where I would welcome living in Brooklyn.
NYE
So, what’s the deal? I know some people are having parties. A friend and I planned on party hopping, but it’s supposed to snow so i dunno. I am wearing a dress because it’s the only thing that will camouflage the bubble butt and 4 chins I gave myself for Christmas and I dont really feel like walking around in heels, a dress, and slush. No fun. I am looking for the creme de...
Steve Jobs' Health Declining Rapidly, Reason for... →
suckafuck:(via nickmcglynn)
Zooey actually engaged to a much cooler rocker →
AntiKris' List of Dislikes in Dick
(in no particular order)
1. Poor grammar/spelling is a huge turn off (I know mine is not perfect, but you get the drift). It’s even worse when in text or IM format one replaces letters unnecessarily. Example: using “gurl” rather than “girl”. Come the FUCK on…really?! It is never ok to use “holla” unless it’s done ironically.
2. Too much...
You know.....
Ok, so you could say I am on the prowl. I am single, like to, uh “mingle”, but there is a limit to what I can accept these days as proper behavior from the male species.
So I am on the train, actually showered and wearing makeup today so I guess you could say I am looking fuckable. There’s some hot dude sitting across from me. I keep looking over at him and him at me. We...
30 Most Notable Blogs of 2008 →
katiebakes:
Wowsers.
Yay! Word up to me and Frangry
I gotta say though
The police responded within 2 minutes…not too shabby.
As my knees knock
I sit here writing as there may be a murderer in my office. When I walked in I was informed by the man who opened that he saw someone run around the corner when he walked in. I work in an office on the first level of our 8 floor warehouse building. There are a gazillion places an intruder could hide. The police just left and didnt see anything but there was a window open above the dumpster so...
Cheese Sandwich. :-(
For you
What a shitty way to go →
It’s poopy pun day. Sorry…
This really breaks my heart →
I feel so bad for her family. I know things like this happen every damn day, but this story has pulled at the heart strings and also scared the hell out of me. It’s made me very aware of the people I meet while out, who I decide to go on dates with, etc. Be careful
New Year's Eve in Times Square
nickmcglynn:
Here is some helpful advice if you plan on going to Times Square for New Years.
First off, it’s awful; but worth doing once in your life. Arrive early!! Prime viewing areas may fill up early in the afternoon. Police will confiscate alcohol, so be discrete. Use the restroom before you arrive, there are no bathrooms and you will be standing in one place so wear comfortable shoes...
I guess it's that time
New Years Resolution time.
1. I say this every damn year but I’ve gotta make this one stick. STOP DATING FUCKING RETARDS. I am too damn old to be taken by a pretty face lacking any scruples whatsoever. It is time to start being more choosy with the ones I let inside the velvet rope. I need to start practicing the words “you’re not on the list”
2. Patience. It is...
Oof
Ok, I didnt make it to 2pm. I am tired already. Want to sleep NOW
A sleeping pill, a hop, skip and a jump and I am...
I took the redeye last night and had to come straight to work. I took a sleeping pill so I did get some rest, but sleeping sitting up isnt all that rejuvenating. I am sure I will want to die come 2pm. My plans for the week involve sleeping, pooing (since I of course wasnt able to go in CA), and not drinking any alcohol until NYE.
My trip was ok. I had a really nice time with my family and...
You know what's a huge fucking turn off?
trainwrecks:
frangry:
A bad speller.
Oh, you mean like people who don’t know “a lot” is two words? And then they wait awhile after being publicly called out on it until they eventually quietly change it?
I didnt “quietly change it”, shitbag. I even thanked you for pointing out my error.
Um
Did I miss something? I think i did
“Someone took a shit in my washing machine.”
– Tami
