What is a ‘quotation’ if not a justification to ourselves of part of who we are,...– Benjamin Franklin (via mascarah)
Good show goes suck
The new season of Weeds better start getting better or I am going to get crazy up in this bitch. I hate when I find a show I completely love and the next season ends up being a festering pile of poo.
I find the Olympics incredibly boring and annoying.– AntiKris
I also fucking hate those people who try and shove AM NY down your throat. The...– AntiKris
whokilled: Achilles had his heel, but I have a whole Achilles body.
Why my stepmother rules
Me: I am afraid he's going to try and have sex with me. He's flying all this way to see me and I cant really blow him off now, you know.
Stepmom: Oh honey, just tell him you're blowing clots the size of hamsters
I also fucking hate it when complete strangers tell me I shouldnt smoke. Yeah,...– AntiKris
I don’t want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able...– Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) on Los Angeles (via caughtupinsanity)
The sun is hot but you are hotter.– All-time favorite pick-up line. (via bblove)
Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Amy Winehouse →
I love my friends part 876
Me: I am wearing the same dress I wore last night
B: You're such a whore
Me: No, I didnt get any good stuff, just was too hungover to find something else this morning
B: You're still a whore
B: But that's why I love you. Your disasters make me feel like I have it together.
I can because I am hungover
My parents are coming in town today. I have been so excited for this day ever since they told me they were coming. I’ve been preparing all week. Last night I had a birthday party and I promised myself I was going to be a good girl and not be hungover….. I am bad at keeping my word…..to myself. I had a birthday party at Beauty Bar last night. I wore this cute little dress...
For me to say this is pretty bad....
But my friend and I kinda feel bad for the Jake douche. Sure, he’s pretentious, but damn…he’s really got his sack handed to him this week. I hope I never become that hated on this here Tumblr thingy.
I also fucking hate it when men stare at me on the subway and refuse to look...– AntiKris
I actually ran into one of these pricks when I was... →
Best fortune cookie ever
“You are not illiterate”
It is now a truth acknowledged even by science: men like casual sex more than...– From here (via gauntlet) (via onemoretimewithfeeling) I think this falls into the “no shit” catagory
Now I have really lost my lunch →
Ting Tings “That’s not my name”...
I also fucking hate when people dont stay to the right on the subway...– The AntiKris
I fucking hate people who think quoting lines from a movie constitutes a sense...– The AntiKris
Yet another UFO sighting in the UK →
Adding to my bad day
I cant get on fucking facebook to play scrabble!!!! I hate having to use at PC at work because I dont know how to do a screen shot on it. Some guy with no teeth just told me to smile. My secretary is still listening to her Rhianna CD. Grrr
San Francisco to vote on George W Bush sewage... →
catedunn: “San Francisco is to hold a vote on whether to rename one of its largest sewage treatment facilities after George W. Bush, in what supporters describe as ‘a fitting monument to the President’s work.’” I hope this is true.
Spray before you lay
Just when you thought they couldn’t improve condoms, they have. New technology has allowed scientists from the Condom Consultancy in Germany to invent a new spray on condom!!!! Wow! The spray on condom will work by pumping liquid latex on the penis and then allowing it to dry. The new condom will be the “perfect fit” and ready to use in about 20-25 seconds. Removal of the...
Piss and Vinegar
I am in a bAAd mood. I feel like I am in the throes of PMS, however that is no longer the issue. I had an argument with a friend last night and something as simple as not being able to do laundry brought me to tears. It’s suposed to be a beautiful day today and I do not want to carry this feeling around with me anymore. I get drug tested at work so I cant puff on a joint and if I eat...
For you, Lover
I am having a really bad night but My Super Ex Girlfriend is on and it made me think of you and I smiled. Maybe I will cry this time.
I wonder how much my life would be worth?
PERTH, Australia, June 23 (UPI) — An Australian man who is trying to auction off his life on eBay says he just wants to “move on” following the breakup of his 8-year marriage. Ian Usher, 44, of Perth, Australia, decided to auction off nearly everything in his life, including his car, home, jet ski, friends, hobbies and job, after his marriage collapsed, the British newspaper,...
Ew, Gross. →