The AntiKris

2009

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2008

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
This looks like a magical place.  This is Kathleen...
Jul 2nd
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes....”
— Dr. Seuss (via riotrepublic) ...
Jul 2nd

Band of the week

My Morning Jacket.  Thanks to Mr. Stage for introducing me
Jul 1st
chroot: via altphotos.com I will be needing these
Jul 1st
lomo: (via lisaschafferphoto)
Jul 1st
mascarah: Thank you, HBO! Jason Schwartzman is set to...
Jul 1st
This is the loser that lets mini me put his little Dr Evil...
Jul 1st
onemoretimewithfeeling: I Just Can’t Make a Choice for...
Jul 1st
capucha: lomo: Sweet Childhood days (via Kiki.)
Jul 1st

This is pretty much how I feel with men...

1. Fifi: Noun Prevalent within death row inmates, a hands-free masturbation device made up of a...
Jul 1st

On my dry spell

AntiKris: i need a friend with just one single benefit
AntiKris: I am just looking for once for god's sake
AntiKris: why cant I be a whore like I used to be
Crothrocket: you mean you're looking for a relationship?
AntiKris: not especially
AntiKris: but I am stuck in the middle of 2 extremes and that is leading to not getting stuck at all
Crotchrocket: hahaha
Jul 1st

Idiocy squared

Antikris: I closed the IM window
Antikris: once that window is closed, so is that chain of thought....
Frangry: what though!
Frangry: BOOYA!!!!!!
Frangry: damn i spelled it wrong
Frangry: you win.
Jul 1st
“The world is divided into armed camps ready to commit...”
— Ed Krebs (via riotrepublic)
Jul 1st
“I also fucking hate it when people ask me for cigarettes on...”
— AntiKris
Jul 1st
I got to see these this weekend in my travels with the...
Jul 1st
AntiKris’ Douchebag of the Day.  Heidi Montag.  Why? ...
Jul 1st
blakeley: The Internet said girls dig stubble so where my...
Jul 1st

Overheard in New York

Mother: Honey, your dress is just too low. I know you don't mean to, but when you wear things that show that much of you, you attract the wrong kind of men.
Scary Mexican man sitting across: Oh honey, you definitely do.
(girl hastily pulls her dress up)
Jul 1st
Interesting article
Jul 1st
This is sad, but I can see it....
Jul 1st
“You know you’ve had too much to eat and drink when...”
— AntiKris
Jul 1st
I am sorry, but does anyone really care?  Most boring couple...
Jul 1st
Something just feels incredibly wrong about a crack whore...
Jul 1st
mascarah: Hello, Knight. He could put it wherever he...
Jul 1st
Sunny mornings in NYC make me happy
Jul 1st

I needs

I need to meet someone with a pool.  Preferably in public transportation distance.  All of the...
Jul 1st
nudawn: adamiss: When captchas stop being polite, and...
Jul 1st
“What is a ‘quotation’ if not a justification to ourselves of...”
— Benjamin Franklin (via...
Jul 1st

Good show goes suck

The new season of Weeds better start getting better or I am going to get crazy up in this bitch.  I...
Jul 1st
“I find the Olympics incredibly boring and annoying.”
— AntiKris
Jun 30th
Warch Watch
I want to see this. 
Jun 30th
onemoretimewithfeeling: (via bullshit) I love the one...
Jun 30th
“I also fucking hate those people who try and shove AM NY...”
— AntiKris
Jun 30th
Even when I am nice I am still a jerk. 
Jun 27th
whokilled: Achilles had his heel, but I have a whole Achilles body.
Jun 27th
mascarah: This is fucking hilarious. Have a great weekend...
Jun 27th

Why my stepmother rules

Me: I am afraid he's going to try and have sex with me. He's flying all this way to see me and I cant really blow him off now, you know.
Stepmom: Oh honey, just tell him you're blowing clots the size of hamsters
Jun 27th
whateverlolawants: “There’s a lot of mythology about what...
Jun 27th
“I also fucking hate it when complete strangers tell me I...”
— AntiKris
Jun 27th
“I don’t want to move to a city where the only cultural...”
— Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) on...
Jun 27th
“The sun is hot but you are hotter.”
— All-time favorite pick-up...
Jun 27th
Look at the dollar I was just given!  It made me happy. 
Jun 27th
Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Amy...
Jun 27th

I love my friends part 876

Me: I am wearing the same dress I wore last night
B: You're such a whore
Me: No, I didnt get any good stuff, just was too hungover to find something else this morning
B: You're still a whore
B: But that's why I love you. Your disasters make me feel like I have it together.
Jun 27th
AntiKris’ Douchebag of the Day.  ME.  I am the douche...
Jun 27th

I can because I am hungover

My parents are coming in town today.  I have been so excited for this day ever since they told me...
Jun 27th
(via frangry) I wish I was black.  When my ass looks like...
Jun 27th
catedunn: via www.bfeedme.com um, heart shaped ice cream...
Jun 27th
reason 456 why I suck at being a woman….i cannot paint...
Jun 26th
vane-h: SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER (via Thumpersponge)
Jun 26th

For me to say this is pretty bad....

But my friend and I kinda feel bad for the Jake douche.  Sure, he’s pretentious, but...
Jun 26th
This gloomy day is putting me in a dodgy mood
Jun 26th
“I also fucking hate it when men stare at me on the subway...”
— AntiKris
Jun 26th
I actually ran into one of these pricks when...
Jun 26th

Best fortune cookie ever

“You are not illiterate”
Jun 26th
“It is now a truth acknowledged even by science: men like...”
— From here (via gauntlet) ...
Jun 26th
Somebody just sent me the prettiest flowers anonymously.  I...
Jun 26th
Now I have really lost my lunch
Jun 25th
Listen Listen
Ting Tings “That’s not my name”   I am posting this song in honor of what has...
Jun 25th
“I also fucking hate when people dont stay to the right on...”
— The AntiKris
Jun 25th
“I fucking hate people who think quoting lines from a movie...”
— The AntiKris
Jun 25th
vane-h:
Jun 25th
Yet another UFO sighting in the UK
Jun 25th
vane-h: Be Still My Heart
Jun 25th

Adding to my bad day

I cant get on fucking facebook to play scrabble!!!!  I hate having to use at PC at work because I...
Jun 25th
San Francisco to vote on George W Bush sewage...
Jun 25th
This is called “get a bigger pair of shoes,...
Jun 25th

Spray before you lay

Just when you thought they couldn’t improve condoms, they have. New technology has allowed...
Jun 25th
AntiKris’ Douche of the Day.  Kanye West.  He needs to...
Jun 25th

Piss and Vinegar

I am in a bAAd mood.  I feel like I am in the throes of PMS, however that is no longer the issue.  I...
Jun 25th

For you, Lover

I am having a really bad night but My Super Ex Girlfriend is on and it made me think of you and I...
Jun 25th
christinahaberkern: ryanjpointer: I may be late on this...
Jun 25th
nudawn: blakeley: One image Lodwick will never reblog but...
Jun 25th

I wonder how much my life would be...

PERTH, Australia, June 23 (UPI) — An Australian man who is trying to auction off his life on...
Jun 25th
bblove: I bought the latest issue of Shape to read at the...
Jun 25th
chetgulland: yourmonkeycalled: Eddie Murphy’s giant head...
Jun 24th
Ew, Gross.
Jun 24th
Unsafe sex in the city THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Tuesday, June...
Jun 24th
I love her
Jun 24th
Doy
Jun 24th
You think your job sucks?
Jun 24th
superdoofus-stratodrive: ah glacier, how i miss you...
Jun 24th
“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt....”
— Buddha (via...
Jun 24th
Recording Industry Decries AM-FM Broadcasting...
Jun 24th
I’ve just had the realization that I need to spice...
Jun 24th
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a...”
— Dr. Seuss (via jessicap)
Jun 24th

Secrets about the internet

artistspaid: marco: The most common word in search queries is “photos”. Number two? “Fotos.” The...
Jun 24th

Dude? Liz Phair

What the fuck is up with Tumblr blogs and Liz Phair?!  I just unfollowed some dude cause all he...
Jun 24th
Antikris’ douche of the day.  Britney Spears’...
Jun 24th
Dont drink and wheel, kids!
Jun 24th

A Real life NYC "Hitch" haha

I received this email from a friend of a friend this morning and found it a bit comical.  Really, I...
Jun 24th
“I attract eager, needy men. That part always turns me off....”
— Nerve Dating Confessions  (via...
Jun 24th
shannonmurf: Tooth “tattoos” - Boing Boing Totally...
Jun 24th
“The surest way to a man’s heart (good roast beef not...”
— Retro: Charm School barf. ...
Jun 24th
“There should be a fucking breathalizer on IM”
— –Shruti. So true. (via...
Jun 24th
whateverlolawants: coolest picture of all time. (via...
Jun 24th
onemoretimewithfeeling:
Jun 24th
“I dont like that toilet. It has a padded seat. It’s...”
— Lenny from Weeds
Jun 24th

The Subway

On my ride to the UWS for a work appointment some strange things happened.  Or some strange people...
Jun 23rd

My worst nightmare

My secretary is playing the Rhianna CD
Jun 23rd

When booze doesn't love you back

catedunn: malty: Everyone has there own remedy for hangovers. For some its the greasy morning bar...
Jun 23rd
katiebakes: This photo of Jones Beach from NY Mag is worth...
Jun 23rd
I know I will probably get alot of guff from women and the...
Jun 23rd
I never thought I’d say it…but Ben Affleck is...
Jun 23rd
toomuchawesome: curate:elvira:hardcorejudas: babypanda ...
Jun 23rd

Last night I dreamt I made out with a...

keepinganotebook: Guys, this is concerning. In my defense, it was a Wishbone-style talking dog...
Jun 23rd
blakeley: Yeah real dependable…
Jun 23rd
Seriously, why do I even leave the house...
Jun 23rd
For all you believers....E.T. phone home
Jun 23rd
God slings the powder
Jun 23rd
I was lucky enough to devour this lovely crepe while in...
Jun 23rd
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed...”
— George Carlin
Jun 23rd
Warch Watch
Just in case anyone forgot….
Jun 23rd

Overheard in New York

JAP #1: I hate boys who won't kiss you after you go down on them.
JAP #2: Yeah, I know. But I don't kiss boys after they go down on me.
JAP #1: That's awful! If he can handle it, you should too.
JAP #2: But it's so bitter! I'm just saying: if they sold a jam the flavor of my vagina, I would not buy it.
Jun 23rd
AntiKris’s douche of the day.  Mike Meyers.  I will...
Jun 23rd
Ali Lohan is a pretty 35 year old.  Oh...
Jun 23rd
RIP you foul mouthed so and so.  You will be missed. 
Jun 23rd
Warch Watch
this makes me want to sew my vagina shut…these talentless whores make me ashamed to be a woman
Jun 23rd
It's a long way from Short Circuit days.
Jun 23rd
I AIN'T GOT NOTHING AGAINST ICE T OR NOBODY...
Jun 23rd
I love my friends
Jun 22nd
Um yeah, no shit
Jun 22nd
Are you raising a douchebag?
Jun 22nd
AntiKris’s douche of the day.  Just because I saw her...
Jun 22nd
Why when I am drunk do I make faces like I am a getting a...
Jun 22nd
toomuchawesome: (siddman:ashleystar:catbird)
Jun 21st

Friday night in the big city.

My Friday night consisted of an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s, about 10 Parliament Lights,...
Jun 21st
Ok, she’s never been attractive….but WHAT THE...
Jun 21st
sophiniesom: makenosound: Our toner cartridges exploded...
Jun 21st
““If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it...”
— 10,000 words (via anspik)
Jun 21st
I just wanted to share what a disgusting mess my desk is.
Jun 20th
Listen Listen
mascarah: tuneage: Regina Spektor - “The Call” This song is from the Chronicles of Narnia:...
Jun 20th
Is it funny or sad? I've wanted to take a...
Jun 20th
What the FUCK is wrong with people?!
Jun 20th

Awesome chat of the day

Frangry: im like sucking it in and swallowing
Frangry: gross!
Frangry: wait did i just say that?
Frangry: i was talking about my mucus
Frangry: just to clear that up
AntiKris: haha
Frangry: hahaha fuck
Frangry: that was blog worthy
AntiKris: i didnt think you were guzzling some dude's dong at your desk, no explanation necessary
Frangry: hahahahahahahhaha
AntiKris: or maybe you do need to explain
Jun 20th
She’s a tool
Jun 20th

Free Will

jakoblodwick: The basic function of consciousness is inhibition. That which is not inhibited,...
Jun 20th
I usually dont give a shit about labels, but I would give...
Jun 20th
My man is aging badly….NEXT
Jun 19th
Warch Watch
Weezer’s new video is cool.  
Jun 19th
Pregnancy Boom at Gloucester High - TIME
Jun 19th
This is neat-o
Jun 19th
“Official reports reaching Washington and London now indicate...”
— Well, this is news to me. ...
Jun 19th

If anyone cares

Jamie Lynn Spears is giving birth right now.  And yet another white trash, talentless whorebag...
Jun 19th
“If I were there with you, I’d sing you a song to put...”
Jun 19th

Close to home

Girl #1: So, you didn't go to the show?
Girl #2: Hell no.
Girl #1: My boyfriend tried to make me go.
Girl #2: Why would I want to go? I've slept with like, everyone there. Like I need to see a close up of all of the STDs I've narrowly avoided?
Jun 19th

Panties

Woman Sues Victoria’s Secret, Claims Injury From Defective Thong A Los Angeles woman claims...
Jun 19th

Viva Las Vegas?

So last week I traveled west to visit with some friends and ended up driving from LA to Vegas. ...
Jun 19th
Warch Watch
Bitches be going crazy for this sucker.  I’d hit it.
Jun 19th

My favorite knock-knock joke

DJANDREW1: Knock knock.
NYMAG: Who’s there?
DJANDREW1: 9/11
NYMAG: 9/11 who?
DJANDREW1: You said you’d never forget.
Jun 19th

I am a big old ball of irritation today

I just booked my travel arrangements for 4th of July weekend and I decided for shits and giggles to...
Jun 18th

6 days and counting.....

The clock is ticking and so is my colon.  Or perhaps that’s a spasm. 
Jun 18th
So a few years ago when that Fall Out Boy song “Sugar...
Jun 18th
Ladies and Gentlemen.  This thing is awesome.  Nobody has an...
Jun 17th

Five days and counting

So eventually I will write all about my LA and Vegas trip, but first i want to share my disgust in...
Jun 17th
Warch Watch
Best commercial ever
Jun 16th

SATC

Right now the stupid ass song from the Sex and the City movie is playing (opening credits song). ...
Jun 12th

Bloody Hell

So I leave in a few hours for LA and Vegas.  I am all packed and ready to go and of course,...
Jun 12th

Cool Air

I finally got a new air conditioner so the massive case of swamp ass/face/pits/ and other places I...
Jun 11th
A Chinese baby boy born with an extra penis on his back...
Jun 10th

AntiKris in Vegas

I am going to LA this week and I was just informed that I will also be going to Vegas and staying at...
Jun 10th
His tie is so out of style
Jun 10th

I am sorta famous

So lately I have been recognized on the street several times as “The AntiKris”. It seems...
Jun 10th
thejungle: toomuchawesome: (via World Class Stupid) this...
Jun 10th

Gross

It is so disgusting in New York right now words cant even do justice.  My air conditioner is broken...
Jun 9th
toomuchawesome: The pregnant man: still 100% creepy! (via...
Jun 9th
Um, this must be pretty uncomfortable.  Or perhaps that...
Jun 8th
This is so awful. Seriously, society needs...
Jun 8th

I fucking suck

So last night I was about to get laid.  I was about to get laid for the first time in a while.  I...
Jun 8th

My poor friend

Dude at bar: Girl you got a nice ass.
Poor friend: What about the rest of me
Dude at bar: Well, that I could do without.
Jun 7th

On Noses

frangry: your little nose is so cute. its like a button
antikris: i thought i had a big nose
frangry: no, i have a big nose
antikris: no, you have a jew nose
frangry: fuck
Jun 7th
Warch Watch
(via frangry)
Jun 7th

So long for the nice guy

My quest to try something different in regards to the type of people I date has failed.  Met yet...
Jun 7th
 I dont care how hot she is…bitch got too many kids...
Jun 1st
Warch Watch
I am thinking of getting this service.  Would “I am wasted and need a taco and some parliament...
Jun 1st