The AntiKris

2009

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2008

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
Has anyone seen this commercial?
Jan 31st
(I have one of Beth’s awesome cookies in my...
Jan 31st
Warch Watch
An oldie but still a goodie. 
Jan 31st
awesome
Jan 31st
nudawn: so, that happened.
Jan 31st
pics from the end of my liver as we know it
Jan 31st
ragetoons: 20something: just made my first ragetoon. its...
Jan 31st
suckafuck: The video screen really says it all. Roll those...
Jan 31st
Good Morning 30.  Thanks to everyone to came.  Fuck you...
Jan 31st

FAIL

My party starts in less than 2 hours.  I havent showered yet.  I just decided it would be a good...
Jan 31st
Warch Watch
jennifur85: Lady Gaga - Poker Face because its the weekend
Jan 30th

YAY!

Party tonight!!  So ES-Cited
Jan 30th
I am at a columbia alumni party and am amongst the lamest of the lame. But they have blue moon on...
Jan 30th
“I like my beats hard like two day old shit”
— A Tribe Called Quest
Jan 29th
SNPD.  Crothcrocket and AntiKris’ beer gut version
Jan 29th

Someone needs to make me an FFFFFFFUUUUU

Kris drinking coffee.  Kris having to poo.  Crotchrocket in shower.  FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU
Jan 29th
Fartcine made me take down the boob pic
Jan 29th
Like all things awesome…..I just get better with age....
Jan 29th
“I think I’ll be at your apartment at 8pm tomorrow...”
— Jolie In reference to getting...
Jan 29th

A little twist of the knife

Crotchrocket is looking at Time Out New New York’s Guide For The Laid Off New Yorker for cheap...
Jan 29th

On this weekend's bday schedule:

brianvan: “It’s like facing Manny and Ortiz back-to-back in the lineup” (Actually, with the Super...
Jan 29th
whatcriscilikes:paganpoetry:(via bebelestrange) Happy...
Jan 29th

That post I did about Snuggies?

themattsmith: Apparently that picture was a Slanket. Sorry. Those are dumb too. Kia Matthews...
Jan 29th
“Jesus Chrust”
— Fartcine
Jan 29th
GPOYW.  Me and The Crotch watching movies and drinking the...
Jan 29th
shorterexcerpts:theduty: PENIS RACES ANYONE? So…are they...
Jan 29th
He landed and i was just hit on by a limo driver. Awesome
Jan 28th
Our ny airports seem to have a bird problem as there are two of them flying in baggage claim
Jan 28th
Gpoyw. The Fuck you weather and jet blue version.
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
Still no fucking crotchrocket and these jerk faces wont tell me anything. Can someone check jetblue...
Jan 28th

I am so out of it today and I dont know...

I just texted my friend who is a plane, who I just blogged about being on the plane, and asked...
Jan 28th
ragetoons:(via yoitsamanda) Hahahahahaha
Jan 28th

Excitement mixed with embarrassment

Crotchrocket’s plane is coming in early when I expected it to be late due to the weather. ...
Jan 28th
More on the chin....or lack there of
Jan 28th
kiamatthews: Hey Matt. This is for you. Look, I just burned...
Jan 28th
Reblogged earlier this week…but this is really my...
Jan 28th
I find it hilarious that my 60 something, male coworker reads Perez Hilton like it’s going out...
Jan 28th
caro: Kissed by a Storm: “Well, the original had blue...
Jan 28th
youngmanhattanite: Can someone please explain AntiKris and Frangry in 3 mouthfuls or less? We get...
Jan 28th
I know the economy sucks, but damn
Jan 28th
david: I can see my roof from your roof!
Jan 28th
acidreams:Drive-By Blogging
Jan 28th
peterwknox: Amazingly, my friends flight isnt delayed 
Jan 28th
nudawn: i want to eat your face for dinner. You’re...
Jan 28th
The Stranger | Bad Brains Documentary in the...
Jan 28th
fimoculous: Puppy!: You might as well unsubscribe now — I...
Jan 28th

Dear Tumblr..

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes…The actual day is Thursday though. Dont let the...
Jan 28th
I just boiled eggs incorrectly.  Ok Kris…you’re 30 now.  Get in the kitchen
Jan 28th
riotrepublic: Sadly, I don’t have anyone to credit for this....
Jan 28th
To you tumblr.  I am dipping into my birthday Jameson to...
Jan 27th
“Who let the dong out”
— cajunboy
Jan 27th

Great moments in Tumblr history

Jesus Cajun Boy….I love you so cajunboy: One of these days, hundreds of years into the...
Jan 27th

Dear Liver

I wanted to write you this note to apologize in advance for the pain and misfortune you will incur...
Jan 27th
“i fucking hate when bitches snitch, whether its with words...”
— Nudawn I agree with nudawn....
Jan 27th

I sent Antikris this picture of my dong:

brianvan: And then I tried to OD on sleeping pills and vodka, but someone saved me.  It was not...
Jan 27th
“I can’t stand Angelina and all her babies. Maddox probably...”
— Chelsea Handler
Jan 27th

There Is Soo Much Incredibly Unfunny...

(via michaelorell) Simply checking in on your blog can provide enough unfunny to last for the...
Jan 27th
Warch Watch
This just came on the radio and made me happy as fuck.  I think it has special meaning for today on...
Jan 27th
“He’s warm for your form”
— My Stepmother
Jan 27th
caro:saucy: You can buy your twestival tickets now.  $20...
Jan 27th

I am having a good day.

Between the birthday cards pouring in, people exposing themselves in non flattering ways on Tumblr,...
Jan 27th

Correction:

Dont send naked pictures to a Tumblr unless it is me.  I can be trusted. ;)
Jan 27th

I love Kate

miltnr: antikris: Her: He’s totally going to quit the internet AntiKris: He’s going to go all...
Jan 27th
Her: He's totally going to quit the internet
AntiKris: He's going to go all Lodwick
Jan 27th

Confession and Advice

Confession: I didnt know who it was that appeared nude in that FFFFFFUUUUU post I reblogged. ...
Jan 27th

I just spit out my coffee

AntiKris to Coworker: How was the client?
Him: Man, that chick was such a flatso!
AntiKris: Flatso?
Him: You dont know what a flatso is?!
Him: That is the worst kind of chick EVER
Him: It's a fat chick who is flat chested.
Jan 27th
ragetoons:PWND Wait?!  I dont understand the...
Jan 27th
“like jameson wasted instead of seagrams.”
— someone on dating in relation...
Jan 27th

How did I not know

That they played “Signed Sealed Delivered” by Stevie Wonder at the Inauguration Ball. ...
Jan 27th
shorterexcerpts::(via vforvelociraptor) OMGBABYREDPANDA ...
Jan 27th
“When they discover the center of the Universe, a lot of...”
— Bernard Bailey
Jan 27th
The Venue
Jan 27th
kiamatthews: Antikris, [Said in Ryan Gosling voice]:...
Jan 27th

A girl can dream

That Kia Matthews would bring some of her fried chicken and waffles to my party.  :(
Jan 27th
For Frangry and that other panties in a bunch chick.  Get...
Jan 27th
themattsmith:saramcpherson: This looks like heaven on...
Jan 27th
nudawn: Joe Strummer, Alabama, 1988 © Steve Pyke
Jan 27th
juliaallison: This is how close I was to Lady Gaga during...
Jan 27th

Forgive me for what I'm about to do to...

frangry: But I absolutely have to share this before my mind explodes. I had a dream last night...
Jan 27th
Listen Listen
frangry: Here ya go, Kenny Rogers - The Gambler
Jan 27th
“I’d like to think I’m a mess you’d wear...”
— Band of Horses
Jan 27th
sophiniesom: (via peterberkman)
Jan 27th
skeetonmischa: Misfits Monday: Earl from Saccharine...
Jan 26th

On winter weight

AntiKris: I am drinking too much beer. I am not going to fit into my dress.
AntiKris: My boobs are getting bigger though, that's cool. I've never had those
Crotchrocket: that would be a nice benefit. it would be rad if getting fat as a dude made your dick bigger
Jan 26th
Ting Tings
Jan 26th

It's 2am

I have to be at work at 8am.  I am still awake because my cat is doing his recent freak out...
Jan 26th
Blakeley is one of those positive facebook people.  UGH
Jan 26th

What do Brooklyn and pantyhose have in...

disappointingmonkey: Flatbush. alksjflkashfk;jsdhgkjhsdkgjhdfkjg
Jan 26th
“Again tonight, Flight of the Conchords was disappointing.”
— (via seashellhell) ...
Jan 26th
Warch Watch
This is exactly where my pooping in anyone else’s house problems stem from.  I feel your pain,...
Jan 26th

Another awesome email from my stepdad...

Hey, Hope you got off some good shots. Keep shooting and maybe think about a workshop. Now, I have...
Jan 26th

Match.com commercial

I want to kick that whore who says “I am just a goof looking for my ball” in the fucking...
Jan 26th
Nudawn is letting the girls out at my party.  w00t!
Jan 26th
folkinz: nate & claire… I am so in love with this show....
Jan 26th

Cajun Boy

Despite Nick McGlynn being at my party, I hope you will swing by.  Sorry, he’s my friend.  But...
Jan 26th
I hope New York doesnt fuck with my Chuck
Jan 26th
Ok, going to puke now.  BRB
Jan 26th
Someone just emailed this
Jan 26th
OMG.OMG.OMG.Every Tyra Banks Gif Ever!
Jan 26th
Fuck I love him. 
Jan 26th
dazzlingdelta:theduty: smiling. YOU’RE DOING IT...
Jan 25th
FUCK YOU WEATHER.  This is what my visiting friend from LA...
Jan 25th

Every dude in my life is...

I googled “cat crying in middle of night” because my stupid cat has been crying almost...
Jan 25th
maryrambin: caro: This photograph is perfect.  Shirtless...
Jan 25th
I am crying over a volley ball.  
Jan 25th
Listen Listen
Eazy E-Gimme Dat Nut
Jan 25th

Why wont a man write me a love song like...

Verse One: It’s like that and it’s like this I took her to tha pad and we started tah...
Jan 25th
No caption needed
Jan 25th

OMG

If I see this Sarah McLachlin animal abuse commercial one more time I am going to LOSE IT!  This...
Jan 25th
Dont worry people.  I still got my street cred.  
Jan 25th
The water landing in Castaway didnt go as well as flight 1549.  
Jan 25th
Can I just say that the old lady who throws the necklace into the ocean is a HUGE cunt.  That man...
Jan 25th

I scared Nudawn

Nudawn: You scared me last night! Dont ever say that again! [redacted?!]
AntiKris: I know, I must have had my beer pussy on.
Jan 25th
“How do you know when you’re finished making love?”
— –Jackson Pollock, in response...
Jan 25th
“I need to log off”
— AntiKris
Jan 25th
“Life gives you AIDS, you make lemonaides”
— suckafuck
Jan 25th
Frangry: it must be SO fucking AWESOME to be obama
Antikris: it must be awesome to be Michelle
Antikris: i bet he can FUCK
Frangry: YES HE CAN!
Antikris: CHANGE positions!
Jan 25th
Warch Watch
mashable: Obama Meets the Crew of Air Force One (off topic, but a poignant moment) Yeah,...
Jan 25th
caro: Last night may have been Mr. McGlynn’s finest hour. ...
Jan 25th
Running late to the ROFL party because I am drinking a 40...
Jan 25th
Listen Listen
walpaper:sparklingpants: Warning Sign —Coldplay Speaking of cheerfully sad enigmas. The song...
Jan 25th
bigcrush:urlesque: Urlesque is @ ROFLThing NY today, check...
Jan 25th
“On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a...”
— John Doe (via nudawn)
Jan 24th
Change begins with us
Jan 24th
I mean really….it’s one thing to make fun of someone for what they post on their...
Jan 24th

Dear web20morons

Please stop stalking me.  You’re creepy.  If I am so boring, so greasy, so fat, and so...
Jan 24th
“Ditto, though I bet your pages are stickier than mine.”
— Young Manhattanite You are...
Jan 24th

You think you love me now, Nudawn

An actual email I just sent to my date tonight… “Oh yeah, and I fell asleep face first...
Jan 24th

I wonder

If the Orion’s Belt of zits I have are still from the Chantix detox or because I fell asleep...
Jan 24th

OMFG

Positive facebook friend is on a roll tonight with the positivity.  Mo, I know you feel my pain....
Jan 24th
blakeley: The Minor Threat Family Tree, click to...
Jan 23rd

Roommate Needed

disappointingmonkey: $750 Across from Brooklyn Museum. I’ll be around all weekend for showing. ...
Jan 23rd
“A little less conversation a little more action”
— -Elvis Boys, take note.  Make...
Jan 23rd
Something to pass the time
Jan 23rd
“My first job was a blowjob, and I was late to work”
— AntiKris
Jan 23rd
There is something seriously wrong with me.  Lately, it seems all the men I “have a thing...
Jan 23rd
“You’re a walking storeroom of facts. Unfortunately...”
— Asshole fortune via Verizon...
Jan 23rd

I am The AntiKris

The mood I am in right now is why I was nicknamed ”AntiKris” years and years ago. ...
Jan 23rd
frangry: AntiKris’ Douchebag of the Day courtesy of...
Jan 23rd
shorterexcerpts:kapi: Yes it is. But not just Friday…. ...
Jan 23rd

I just received THIS email from someone...

Why does my day need to start this way? “whats up how u bin how u fillin these days”
Jan 23rd
jmdj:(via humanpig) I thought the dudes were just small and...
Jan 23rd
Warch Watch
themattsmith: For Frangry: Newcleus - Jam On It
Jan 23rd
NARC!!!!
Jan 22nd
Whenever I see dogs greeting one another I always have a...
Jan 22nd

It's things dogs like to sniff Thursday...

Jan 22nd
Bed Bug sniffing dog?  These commercials are all over the...
Jan 22nd
Apparently the dog has been distracted by a scent.  
Jan 22nd
themattsmith:fatmanatee: CHRIS CARRABBABBABBABBABBA God...
Jan 22nd
(via themattsmith) Fucking EXACTLY!  Jesus, why is this SO...
Jan 22nd

The Oscars are a fucking joke

As are most of the awards shows.  “Oh who are you wearing? Oh who designed that bracelet, Oh...
Jan 22nd
iammattjordan: Because it amused the shit out of me. That...
Jan 22nd
“Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves...”
— Barack Obama This can be...
Jan 22nd

Embarrassing Truth

I want to see He’s Just Not That Into You.  
Jan 22nd
The party, sponsored by The New York Times,...
Jan 22nd
New menupages.com design.  Hmmm, I dont know if I like.  For...
Jan 21st
Love Diana’s pics. She is boss, yo. 
Jan 21st
GPOYW.  The I started reading Geek Love so I can mail it to...
Jan 21st
Warch Watch
caro: lastnightscobra: NYT Inauguration Party at the New Museum (on Vimeo)
Jan 21st

Dear Barack Obama

Two of the heartiest hangovers I have had in the past year have been a direct result of celebrating...
Jan 21st
"I came from the wrong rectum."
Jan 21st

Jolie

It irritates me that you are not on AIM.  Who the fuck do you think you are?  You are not better...
Jan 21st
How To Survive A NYC Media Party, Reflection...
Jan 21st
Shutup Soup.  Some of us have our internet relationships and some of us have a bar tab…to each...
Jan 21st
Crotchrocket’s response to my pics from the party last...
Jan 21st
“I drink too much. I am glad we’re friends. I don’t need to...”
— You guys, I’m such a disaster...
Jan 21st
Warch Watch
Bush gets booed.
Jan 21st

Hey tumblr, say hello to hungover Kris

(via krispayne) Kris Payne and AntiKris are the same person today.  I even have a beard.
Jan 21st
My feet are fucking KILLING me.  I almost always will take...
Jan 21st

Best Part of the NY Times Party

When Rex ripped [redacted’s] business card out of my hand and threw it and said basically...
Jan 21st

A few words for the morning after.....

I am getting emails about awesome conversations had at the after party at Tom & Jerry’s. ...
Jan 21st
For Frangry.  You’re always on my mind, lover
Jan 21st
Jan 21st
NY Times Inauguration Party. Obamaover-check Phone covered...
Jan 21st

W Booed

My mom listened to the inauguration on KGO radio on her way to work.  She said the booing of W was...
Jan 20th

My Mom knows what's up

AntiKris: We have a new President!
Mom: Whooo Hoooo!
AntiKris: Did you see Cheney in the wheelchair?
Mom: He probably did it to get Workman's Comp.
Jan 20th
This is the perfect symbol for the previous administration. ...
Jan 20th

Bets

Bets on W getting booed??????!!!!!!!!!!  I called it first
Jan 20th
chroot:(via stevemakesnoise) Ok, this had to be posted
Jan 20th

Be Back In.......

Watching the inauguration on cnn.com.  I am not going to post a billion pics we’ve all seen. ...
Jan 20th
soupsoup: Brian Snyder / Reuters
Jan 20th
rentedsurroundings:havent-got-a-prayer: Today.  
Jan 20th
Warch Watch
cajunboy: Letterman’s farewell “Great Moments in Presidential Speeches.” I’m really gonna miss...
Jan 20th
candywrapped: thedailywhat: Foodstuff of the Day:...
Jan 19th
I sent this as a test from my phone.  The drugstores in CA...
Jan 19th
I finally found out where those glasses came from.  The...
Jan 19th

In need of computer

My roommate’s computer bit the dust.  She is looking for suggestions for a decent laptop but...
Jan 19th
“While the world bids fairwell to one Bush, I’ll be...”
— AntiKris
Jan 19th
chroot:riotrepublic: Is that a fucking child-sized real...
Jan 19th
“I think there is something very, very sad if you…have a...”
— Wise words from Hugh Hefner,...
Jan 19th
Listen Listen
chroot:mabelmoments: please identify artist! - Leaving On A Jet Plane (i’m in the mood for daggy...
Jan 19th
For Alice, Jolie, Jenna, and Caroline. 
Jan 19th
frangry: Good mmmmmmmorning. (via f3tisha)
Jan 19th

Currently watching:

Big Love.  If being a Mormon didnt blow anal beads so bad I would totally be a polygamist. I want to...
Jan 19th
I voted for him and I feel this way, too.
Jan 19th
onemoretimewithfeeling:via www.darkrock.co.uk
Jan 19th
Woman Pregnant For 60 Years With Dead Child
Jan 17th
ragetoons: You’re going down Xzibit.
Jan 17th
My current irritation…xx AntiKris graphics courtesy...
Jan 17th

Wait?

So I was complaining about my life last night.  I’ve got a free Broadway play tonight, then...
Jan 17th
(via ragetoons) Fucking story of my evening.  I am going to...
Jan 17th

I am really bored

I need to get over this fear of the blistering cold and get off my ever growing ass.  I feel like I...
Jan 17th
Nudawn is the biggest tumblr lesbian ever.  FYI “tumblr lesbian” is the new...
Jan 17th

She's tuggin at the heart strings

I’m not loose, I like to party. Let’s get lost in your Ferrari  Not psychotic or...
Jan 17th
“Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun, and baby...”
— Lady Gaga I am loving this...
Jan 17th
Yup.  This looks about right.  However I am not...
Jan 16th
(via ragetoons) This is PERFECT.  When I was a kid I...
Jan 16th

Tumblr Crushes

I only care if you have a crush on me and are tall, handsome, and live in New York.  Otherwise,...
Jan 16th
With the change in weather, change in office, and change in tumblr…I am going to lose it.  If...
Jan 16th

Karp!

No fucking warning?!  Or was there a warning of the upheaval and I just missed it? God I hate...
Jan 16th
whatcriscilikes:(via thephenthouse)  A friendly reminder to...
Jan 16th
whatcriscilikes:(via smartblonde)
Jan 16th
“If my nose was running money, I’d blow it all on you”
— Unknown
Jan 16th
youngmanhattanite: People think Flight of the Concords is funny because they want it to be funny. ...
Jan 16th
My breakfast sausage links look like uncircumcised penises and it is making me want to barf.  Does...
Jan 16th
chroot:
Jan 16th
Apparently everyone “likes” my period boobs.  I do too.  It’s the only good thing...
Jan 16th
SNPD.  Dying my hair. Freezing cause I cant put my robe on...
Jan 16th

Ok. Back to normal

I have cramps and haven’t crapped in days.
Jan 15th

Priorities

Newswoman: What did you do when you saw it crash
Guy: I snapped a photo with my cell phone and then called 911
Jan 15th

Dear Non-Society

THERE WAS A PLANE THAT CRASHED INTO THE HUDSON YOU DAFT COWS.  NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR STUPID...
Jan 15th
Listen Listen
MIA-Paper Planes
Jan 15th

Jet Blue Story

onemoretimewithfeeling: Does anyone else remember the story about the Jet Blue plane that couldn’t...
Jan 15th
biteofpythias:ericmortensen: FlightAware: US Airways Flight...
Jan 15th
Warch Watch
nudawn: too soon? Nudawn, it’s never too soon.
Jan 15th

With my luck.....

I would be the one person who died.  “AntiKris was reported DOA.  While attempting to flee the...
Jan 15th

Last week, the Birds downed the NY...

katiebakes:waksays: …this week, they downed the NY Jets! http://www.instantrimshot.com/ I hate...
Jan 15th
After realizing I wasnt dead, thanking whoever pulled my fat ass out of the water, and trying to...
Jan 15th

Grace Under Geese Attack

soupsoup: Tremendous job by the pilot. The pilot attempted to try to return back to LaGuardia...
Jan 15th
ryanbrown: The internet is so fast, you guys.
Jan 15th
Listen Listen
eec: Neil Young - Danger Bird in light of today’s events
Jan 15th
brieflynoted::via Reuters there are no words…
Jan 15th

blame canada...

biteofpythias: we need better border security from these illegal snow birds heading south for...
Jan 15th

Can I just say.....

That I love learning via Tumblr what is going on in the world prior to my breaking news reports.  I...
Jan 15th
“Osama Bird Laden”
— Nick McGlynn
Jan 15th
ryanbrown: waksays: Early photographs of the alleged bird...
Jan 15th
realrealsoft:nickmcglynn: US Airways plane goes down in...
Jan 15th
shorterexcerpts: oh man. U.S. Airways Crash Rescue...
Jan 15th
plane crash
Jan 15th
Brooklyn Woman Seeks Man To Smoke Her Up,...
Jan 15th
My office straight up smells like someone took a steamy crap in it.  No exaggeration at all. ...
Jan 15th
I love this little prick.  He’s taken over my love for...
Jan 15th
Why Do Women's Magazines Suck?
Jan 15th
acidreams:misterpeace: Debbie Harry Someone once told me I...
Jan 15th
I have no idea whose glasses those are. 
Jan 15th
AntiKris and Crotchrocket at the bar I was banned from in CA...
Jan 15th
Pools are death traps?
Jan 15th

Economy...please pick up

The three people in my office right now, myself included, are all googling “Brad Pitt’s...
Jan 15th
Listen Listen
suckafuck: Justice - We Are Your Friends (LIVE Reprise with some Metallica)
Jan 15th

Ok, I take it back

That really sucks if you live in Chicago.  oof
Jan 15th

Cool it with the temperature screenshots...

kiamatthews: Hey guys guess what? It’s winter. Right?!  It’s cold.  Big deal.  We live in...
Jan 15th

It's strange

to see a certain tumblr’s girly pics seeing as the first time I met her was in a hotel room in...
Jan 15th
PMSn
Jan 15th
shorterexcerpts:inothernews: Tyra animated GIFs = auto...
Jan 15th

Idiot sells daughter for not a lot of...

If you’re going to sell your 16-year-old daughter for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several...
Jan 15th

And then sometimes....things turn around

Currently Watching:  Mel Brook’s High Anxiety 
Jan 15th
soupsoup:thepublics: HISTORY I miss tapes.
Jan 15th
Some days nothing seems to go right. 
Jan 15th
onefootinthegrave:(via awesome-everyday)
Jan 15th

Free Broadway Show.....again

I got tickets for The American Plan for Friday or Saturday at 8pm.  Any takers?
Jan 15th

dlkfjlsdkfjlsiubiuhfjdhgleot!!!!

WHERE THE HELL IS MY SUSHI/SASHIMI COMBO!!!!  IMMA BOUT TO STAB THIS ASIAN
Jan 15th
I think I have blogged this already but I love...
Jan 14th
My Time Out New York column on Textiquette!
Jan 14th
GPOYW.  The welcome to my green and yellow kitchen version....
Jan 14th
GPOYW.  The this is what we call a 6pm hangover brewing...
Jan 14th
The comments on my 8 month pregnant friend’s preggers...
Jan 14th
shorterexcerpts:waksays:
Jan 14th
“Even as a kid I always went for the wrong women. When we...”
— Woody Allen (via whokilled)
Jan 14th
Right before my phone died while mimicking Julia Allison.
Jan 14th
My secretary and the dude in the office next to mine are snoring.  They need to join tumblr in these...
Jan 14th
Barack Obama's letter to his daughters made...
Jan 14th

Dear Matt who is married Smith

themattsmith: antikris: I own Geek Love.  Do you have A Confederacy of Dunces?  I gave my copy to...
Jan 14th

Secret

I am looking forward to the fucking freezing weekend so I am not so pathetic for staying home,...
Jan 14th

Dear Matt who is married Smith

I own Geek Love.  Do you have A Confederacy of Dunces?  I gave my copy to my stepdad and want...
Jan 14th
soupsoup:mashable: Social Media Marketing Madness [via...
Jan 14th

I've been tagged

poortaste: I’ve been tagged and a pretty solid amount of me wants to ignore it because I am not a...
Jan 14th
“they’re all double-chinned or stupid”
— Mo
Jan 14th

You'll be receiving the invites soon

AntiKris: Do you want to get married and have a kid
AntiKris: I'll let you fuck other women
AntiKris: That way our parents will be happy
AntiKris: I'll probably let myself go and cant cook worth a damn but I got charisma.
Him: if you're asking me then yes.
Him: No. You have to stay in shape. That is my only rule.
AntiKris: I said I'd let you fuck other women
Him: True, but why shop around if I got the good shit at home...that is, as long as you keep up with your pilates
Him: i need someone i can proudly introduce people too. im vain, man. i need someone just as.
AntiKris: I want a good ring.
Him: fine. but a laid back wedding with no bs like bridesmaid dresses
AntiKris: Done
Jan 14th
(via kiamatthews) Who is Matt Smith.  Is he gay?  Is he...
Jan 14th
youngmanhattanite: File under: This Thing That Looks Like...
Jan 14th
shorterexcerpts:elvira:babydeer:babypanda:(via...
Jan 14th
“My balls still have less wrinkles than you”
— Old Ass Matt to me. 
Jan 14th

Oh, and one last thing

Dear Cajunboy.  Thank you.  I dont understand the obsession with this show.  It is stupid.  I do not...
Jan 14th

Today is WTF Wednesday.

Frealz
Jan 14th
Step right up. We've got tickets to the rape...
Jan 14th
AntiKris’ Douchebag of the Day.  Lauren Hill.  Why? ...
Jan 14th
GPOYW.  The every girl likes a big wiener version. 
Jan 14th

Spoiler Alert

She drinks too much and gets slutty.  Wait, everyone already knows that. xxAntiKris
Jan 14th
Listen Listen
folkinz: the jim carroll band: people who died
Jan 14th
allibautista: allthiscanbeyours: (via kapi)
Jan 14th
onefootinthegrave:(via bagcoffee)
Jan 13th
(via jennifur85) It’s going to “change”...
Jan 13th
Finally!  The MTA says what I been saying for YEARS.  If you...
Jan 13th

Regarding my birthday party:

To those of you who arent on the facebook invite and we’re friends, email me if you’re...
Jan 13th
“Just make sure you have your grip in tow in case you need to...”
— AntiKris
Jan 13th
Plastic surgery gone wrong and with bitchy...
Jan 12th
Dear Non Fun Society
Jan 12th
Dear Nudawn, I think your beloved pedobear is in fact Billy...
Jan 12th
Dear J-Lot I see you like Blue Moons and hot wings also. ...
Jan 12th