The AntiKris

2009

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

2008

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January
This was, and still is my favorite show folkinz: i miss...
May 1st
He just lost MAD respect, son. jgh: TopherChris -...
May 1st
I straight up thought this was Frangry when I saw this and...
May 1st
“It’s not cheating if all she blows is your mind.”
— –Mattsmith, who happens to be...
May 1st

On bad days

AntiKris: My day was so bad I turned down an open bar party
Him: Can I bring you anything, sweetie.
Him: Are you ok?
Him: I'm really worried about you
Him: should I call Bruce to deliver you a 40
AntiKris: Nope, I already got one
May 1st

OMFG

I could so go off and send a bunch of shit to stfumarrieds and stfuparents….but believe it or...
May 1st
GPOYT.  The I dont have a computer (using roommates while...
May 1st

You know what is grosser than gross?

When you befriend someone on facebook who you sort of know, dude sends some extremely flirtatious...
May 1st
(via philosoraptor)
Apr 30th
New Zodiac suspect
Apr 30th
(via bigcrush)
Apr 29th
“I cannot date (or whatever) someone who was born around the...”
— Her “Her” and I...
Apr 29th

I dedicate this to Crotchrocket as he...

brianvan: Oh for fuck’s sake.
Apr 29th
kiamatthews: Fact: Zac Effron is prettier than everyone and...
Apr 29th
Warch Watch
I thought I was gansta as shit back in the day when dis came out.  Too bad my Mom wouldnt let me...
Apr 29th

Foursquare....

Apparently I’ve received a “badge” which says upon clicking on it “Look at...
Apr 29th

Thank you

To the 7 lovely people who donated to the cause.  Accessing my gmail to send personal thank you...
Apr 29th

A song brings a smile

So I am having a really bad day.  Basically I’m wallowing in my own BS.  Jimmy Eat...
Apr 28th
deleteyourself: This is why you’re skinny.
Apr 28th

Thank you Matt who is married

First donation! wooohoooo!
Apr 28th

Ok, so....

After biteofpythias’ suggestion yesterday I got a bunch of emails which leads me to believe...
Apr 28th
lookatthisfuckinghipster: “I call it the ‘Ewww Manchu.’”
Apr 27th

Why arent you blogging?!

biteofpythias: antikris: Well people, on Thursday a terrible thing happened…my laptop kicked the...
Apr 27th

Why arent you blogging?!

Well people, on Thursday a terrible thing happened…my laptop kicked the bucket.  I cannot...
Apr 27th

I think we've seen enough of the........

“So this happened” meme.  I mean, we all know everyone on tumblr got wasted at some...
Apr 27th
soupsoup:(via brianvan) Nice work, Kris. I was rather...
Apr 27th
Whoever said Scott Kidder and Susan Boyle were the same person at the party on Saturday owes me a...
Apr 27th
Swine Flu Hits New York City
Apr 26th
acidreams:thingsthatexciteme: Daily Dose of...
Apr 23rd

If Tumblr is still blocked at work...

I’m the only one with Flash in my office.  We do what we have to do, lady.  ;) frangry: I’m...
Apr 23rd
GPOYW.  New beach hat that I am going to use this weekend...
Apr 22nd

More from my coworker

Him: Now that is one big ugly beast
Him: I'd rather fuck a wilderbeast
Him: Ugly girls could hang out with her and she'd make them look good.
Apr 22nd
“Wanna know how I feel without tumblr? Like I have a muzzle...”
— Frangry
Apr 22nd
juliaallison: Mary & I are in this fantastic...
Apr 22nd
GPOYW.  The this is why you’re fat version.  That...
Apr 22nd

Dearest Tumblr

I have some very sad news to report.  Our beloved Frangry’s work has blocked Tumblr.  We will...
Apr 22nd
Someone posted a Crotchrocket drawing on the net
Apr 21st
“There really isnt much in this world that makes me laugh...”
— AntiKris
Apr 21st
Sorry, your name is not Windows...
Apr 21st

The news is pissing me off

The Miss CA/Gay Marriage issue The girl was asked a question and she answered it.  Good for her.  I...
Apr 21st
As PMS Week kicks off, I’m already acting like a dumb...
Apr 20th

Attn: Ladies

If you go to eyeslipsface.com and enter promo code “carolina” it’s 50% makeup and...
Apr 20th
Well he certainly aint your huckleberry anymore. 
Apr 20th
;dlfkldkfgkjdfhglkdflgjlkdlkg.  Still awesome
Apr 20th

SCORE!

I’ve talked about the up for grabs area in my apartment building….well, I found 2 boxes...
Apr 20th

Eastbound and Down

Kenny Powers: ...than I went to rehab -
Kid in PE: Did you hurt yourself?
KP: What?
Kid: When Coach Hastings hurt his back, he had to go to rehab.
KP: Oh yeah? Well I hurt my nose.
Apr 20th

Some dude's requirements for a mate from...

kiamatthews: I’m looking for a girl who: 1.Has been with less than 10 partners. 2.Has never had...
Apr 20th
fusioned: Look at these fuckers. Drink much? I hate the...
Apr 19th
My friend Igor sends me nudes of Kari...
Apr 18th

I gotta do sumptin

It’s time to be less connected.  I dont need to know through facebook, twitter, foursquare,...
Apr 18th
“We can see that Obsessed movie. You know, the one with...”
— My Dad
Apr 18th

I have an immediate and strong dislike...

(via kiamatthews) Kia speaks so I dont need to
Apr 18th
(via ragetoons) For Frangry
Apr 18th
Awe.  Poor girl, I’ve been there.  This is awesome
Apr 18th
i am at a party in brooklyn that could be all over lookatthathipster or whatever that site is. Kill...
Apr 18th
“Guys hate prim and proper girls. Unless they’re...”
— 60 something coworker
Apr 17th

Follow Friday

topherchris: Here are the people you should be following. You sneaky little bugger.
Apr 17th
See ya later, suckas.  My day is coming to an end.  Also,...
Apr 17th
“Whatever, Antikris. When I approached you outside a...”
— Dave Whatever, Dave.  Just...
Apr 17th
jacob:marco: We miss David. We didn’t know what else to...
Apr 17th
DL hearts Frangry
Apr 17th
Oh sweet Jesus.  Where’s my sybian?!
Apr 17th

First time...

walpaper: On facebook for awhile. I tried out the comment “like” feature. Now I’m getting emails...
Apr 17th

I am in such a good mood

That I am LOVING this Jason Mraz song so much.  Post work drink is going to be a fruity, summer...
Apr 17th

A quick call to my Dad

AntiKris: What brand is your tractor
Dad: Kubota, why?
AntiKris: You dont want to know
Dad: You're not writing about me are you?!
AntiKris: No, you just dont want to know.
Dad: Ok, bye
Apr 17th

More thoughts on the sex rodeo...

shorterexcerpts: antikris: When I look at this all I can think is “what if someone walks in on...
Apr 17th
“She needs a fucking sybian”
— Coworker about this bitch in...
Apr 17th

More thoughts on the sex rodeo...

When I look at this all I can think is “what if someone walks in on me?!”  How do you...
Apr 17th
What’s funny about this is that I, a self proclaimed...
Apr 17th

Dear tumblr worker bees

When are you going to come out with the “two thumbs down” option?
Apr 17th
Listen Listen
poortaste: Ghostface Killah - Iron Maiden we will be getting wonkey soon for dubstep friday
Apr 17th
Remember in 93 when he was considered a hunk? 
Apr 17th
Can someone please tell me what those Domino’s employees did to the pizza on camera as youtube...
Apr 17th
And in this edition of AntiKris’ blog I’d like...
Apr 17th

My coworker on Susan Boyle

“She says she’s never been kissed.  Meanwhile she’s probably got one of those...
Apr 17th

Currently Listening to:

PLJ.  There was just a remake of Rockin’ Robin that was about Twitter
Apr 17th

I'm not wearing tights today.

I was late to work today due to the forest I had to maintain this am. frangry: Time to start...
Apr 17th
lookatthisfuckinghipster: “So, like, if you’re not doing...
Apr 17th

Rant

One of my customers is such a rich whore that she puts her two dogs in the elevator leashes on, hits...
Apr 16th
I saw these pics in the Enquirer while in line at the super...
Apr 16th

FYI

baxterp: Visiting LA= rental car= giving up iPod and listening to pop radio for first time in ages=...
Apr 16th
Roller skating party in BK this Friday. ...
Apr 16th
I just received an email from Krucoff that is so scary it make me hide under a pillow.  Word
Apr 16th
GPOYW. The Vince, I still have your glasses version.  Dont...
Apr 15th
walpaper:piratekitten: this shit turned me into a grumpy...
Apr 15th
I know everyone has probably seen this...
Apr 15th
miltnr: I was cleaning out my inbox, and belatedly clicked...
Apr 15th
“She’s a cunt with a K”
— Coworker
Apr 15th

Oh the things I put up with for a good...

So my blog has been boring as fuck lately. Why? Well, I allowed what I already knew was bad news...
Apr 15th

I fucking know, asshole

Hey Gorgeous, I enjoy your blogs. Occasionally, they’re witty. So, I say this as a fan; it...
Apr 15th

Dear Jorge:

You are obviously not an avid reader of my blog or you would not leave such comments.  Had you been...
Apr 15th
josh:stairs:(via byebyebutts) Reblogging for...
Apr 15th
GPOMEANDMATTIASW.  The Plaid version.  I seem to own a shit...
Apr 15th
Yeah, I am a one man/boy kinda girl.  Original
Apr 15th

Happy Birthday, Crotchrocket

Now you cant make fun of me for being 30 any longer.  Welcome to the club, barf head
Apr 15th
“Or maybe I’m just being an asshole. It’s so hard to tell...”
— Matt who is married. The good...
Apr 15th

Thrillist Party

themattsmith: antikris: By the looks of McGlynn’s pics I didnt miss much.  I thought about going...
Apr 15th

Thrillist Party

By the looks of McGlynn’s pics I didnt miss much.  I thought about going for a bit.  I havent...
Apr 15th

Mao just farted so fucking loud it...

Apr 14th
“he’s such a party pimple”
— Soup
Apr 14th
Wow.  Gwyneth’s macrobicrapo diet is sure keeping her...
Apr 14th
“We have major chemistry but the experiment always explodes”
— AntiKris
Apr 14th
fusioned: Girls love this shirt. You mean they love...
Apr 14th
“twitter might get me laid in the next week or so”
— Crotchrocket
Apr 14th

Ryan Brown

Wins for most finicky tumblr.  That mofo follows, unfollows, follows….sheesh.
Apr 14th

I just got this email from a coworker...

[redacted] went in the bathroom with a newspaper, started howling like a wolf, then started gagging.
Apr 14th
I love me some Al Franken
Apr 14th
This is so sad
Apr 14th
acidreams:rubendomfer This picture confuses me.  Can we...
Apr 14th
Obama’s dog looks like a poo eating leg humper. ...
Apr 14th
fusioned: Because Sometimes Your Life Needs A Reboot
Apr 14th

It's 10:17am

and I am having a serious conversation about the finger in the ass with a friend.  Vacation is...
Apr 14th

Mini vacation

I’ve been away from NYC for 5 days and I have the new-found appreciation for it again. ...
Apr 14th
AntiKris: YOU SMELL LIKE DIARRHEA!!!!
Nephew: YOU SMELL LIKE VOMIT!!!!!
AntiKris: I'd rather smell like vomit than diarrhea!!!!!
Nephew: No way! Diarrhea smells way better than vomit
AntiKris: Ok, so you like to sniff diarrhea and vomit!? Who's the bigger moron
Stepmon: YOU BOTH SMELL LIKE DIAVOMIT!!!!!
Apr 13th
Mary Magdaline doggie….for Easter, you know
Apr 13th
“I’m telling ya, the whippersnappers cant hang”
— My stepmom because I havent...
Apr 13th
AntiKris: I was sticking up for you, you little buttplug!!!!!
Nephew: What's a buttplug?
AntiKris: uuuuum
AntiKris: Ask my Dad
Dad: this is your mess
Nephew: Well, what's a buttplug?
AntiKris: uuuum
Apr 13th
“Dammit! I keep dutch ovening myself!!!!!”
— My nephew
Apr 13th
I wish I had a better camera so I could share these stars with you
Apr 13th
Family time.  I dont want to go home tomorrow
Apr 13th
folkinz: the truffle shuffle ♥
Apr 13th
Happy Easter!  I got a bunny on a skateboard!
Apr 12th

Dear Julia Allison

i think it may be considered poor manners to be blogging from Church.  Especially on Easter Sunday....
Apr 12th

Word

I just creamed my nephew 14-7 on teh Easter egg hunt.  Booyah! 
Apr 12th
My Easter basket.  This my friends, is a first.  Also,...
Apr 12th
The dog drinks
Apr 12th
My saturday night with the family.  2 of these bad boys do...
Apr 12th
My dog going buckwild on a barking dog on TV.  Perhaps this...
Apr 11th

My Dad on my blogging

AntiKris: You guys wont let him watch movies with boobs in em, but you'll talk about bufu?
AntiKris: You know it's pretty bad when you teach ME something
Dad: Did you send that out to the world?
AntiKris: Of course
Dad: There's nothing sacred with you anymore
AntiKris: Was there ever? I just have a larger audience now.
Apr 11th
Oh you silly Germans
Apr 11th

On growing old

My nephew just turned 14 two days ago.  His voice changed.  I am officially freaked out by it
Apr 11th
chetgulland:thedailywhat: Animated Gif of the Day: From...
Apr 11th

On trying to figure out if Milk is an...

Stepmom: Are there any sex scenes?
AntiKris: well, not really
Dad: Is there any BUFU?
AntiKris: What's BUFU
AntiKris: Oh. Buttfucking
Dad: You didnt know what that was?!
Dad: Did I teach you something?!
Apr 10th
‘What the hell is this crap?!’ my dad regarding lady gaga
Apr 10th

You know what really sucks?

When you send the text message of “Dont ever fucking call me again” which is meant for...
Apr 10th
‘i did everything to that dick except for Fuck it and suck it’ crystal
Apr 9th
On my way to penn station with vince’s glasses in tow. Sorry dude, ask anyone…i’m...
Apr 9th
Apr 9th
(via bagcoffee) HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Apr 9th
Ah yes, anyone want to give me some?  I’m fresh out
Apr 9th

I do not give a flying FUCK

that it is supposed to be raining in Northern VA tomorrow…I am laying out by the pool with a...
Apr 9th
“If gentiles were slick, they wouldn’t end up on a cross. ...”
— Vince wins the first LOL of...
Apr 9th

Alice, you've been discovered

Apr 9th

Reveal yourself, yourmom

Apr 9th
evillageidiot: You know someecards has jumped the shark when...
Apr 9th
Listen Listen
Hot Hot Heat-Goodnight Goodnight So long
Apr 9th
mindgrapes: Alright then, let’s have it. Tonight’s your...
Apr 9th
GPOYW.  The why are my eyes so fucking bloodshot version....
Apr 8th

Today is my Friday

As I am off until next Tuesday.  Yes, I am a cunt. Happy Eastover! xxAntiKris
Apr 8th
The Passover Seder a la Facebook
Apr 8th
Listen Listen
nudawn:butterflyeffects: The Prodigy - Firestarter  if someone tries to take my stapler i swear to...
Apr 8th
evillageidiot: Totally forgot how awesome LOLYankees used...
Apr 8th
nudawn: And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either,...
Apr 8th

Dear Poobah.tumblr.com

Are you my stepfather?  I know poobah is one of his many nicknames and I know he likes to blog and...
Apr 8th
Congrats, coffeebag…this one is funny bagcoffee: And...
Apr 8th

For serious, youngmanhattanite....

I cant think of anything I am really excited about.  I am over the bar scene, I am over dating in...
Apr 8th
I just thought about this and the only thing I can think of is…….. youngmanhattanite: ...
Apr 8th
GPOYW. The my friend Mendy and I version.  I get to see her...
Apr 8th
Listen Listen
themattsmith: DJay : Whoop That Trick Start this morning out right. This goes out to my...
Apr 8th
Oh and yeah, NY1 RUINS my long time Robert Downey Jr. crush...
Apr 8th
Oh Hai, young stuff.  Sure you can bum a smoke!
Apr 8th
My guess is….um, Octopussy? 
Apr 8th
Warch Watch
kiamatthews: You know Frangs, I have been thinking about Hustle & Flow for days now. For me,...
Apr 8th
“You caught me in my lies when my mind was lost on wine”
— Ryan Star
Apr 8th
Listen Listen
The Sounds-Bombs Bombs Away For you
Apr 7th
bigcrush: Yes, that is the sound of your brain exploding.
Apr 7th
My thoughts go out to the Cantu family
Apr 7th
Warch Watch
I am having a bad day.  I need some Gunther
Apr 7th

Thursday

I will be arriving to NoVa around 7pm.  I’ll be out and about in Arlington Thursday night with...
Apr 7th
GPOMOMOLESTINGMETUESDAY
Apr 7th
It must suck to be Lindsay Lohan today
Apr 7th
Warch Watch
fusioned: 4 Kris: Here is some video I took of The Sounds playing a shitty bar. This was on...
Apr 7th
fusioned: Dont want to hurt you, dont wanna fuck with your...
Apr 7th
(via youngmanhattanite) I love these yappers
Apr 7th
bagcoffee:furth: This past weekend I went to use the...
Apr 7th
“Fate saved you from the obvious”
— Coffeebag
Apr 7th

Insomnia

I took two Tylenol PM last night and still woke at 4am.  I havent slept through the night since...
Apr 7th
Of all the weekends for me to be out of town and not be able...
Apr 7th
You know when you’ve reached the point of something, you’re supposed to plant your flag to show...
Apr 7th
nudawn:alanajoy: JAMES PIATT *dope*
Apr 6th
“I think people who use the word “hubby” should...”
— AntiKris
Apr 6th
peterwknox:rhodyram: Waking up on the wrong (ok, ‘other’)...
Apr 6th

On performers peeing their pants

You aint at war on the front lines, you’re a singer.  I think the audience would allow a 2...
Apr 6th
Me looking like a lady for the Dress Like Planet Rose Party....
Apr 6th
“facebook: making my vagina cringe at the sight of past...”
— AntiKris
Apr 5th

Facebook chats with people of the past

Him: Come to visit, I miss you
AntiKris: I havent seen you in 10 years
AntiKris: You dont even know me
AntiKris: I could be a total bitch
Him: I doubt that, you look so sweet...
AntiKris: Actually....
Apr 5th
baxterp: The way you love me is frightnin’!
Apr 3rd

Thunder!

Apr 3rd

Whoa

A reported 13 people killed in hostage situation
Apr 3rd
“Dont say anything vulgar. My boss is at my desk for a while”
— My roommate to me.  I really...
Apr 3rd
41 people taken hostage in NY State
Apr 3rd
This is why I'm gonna be fat
Apr 3rd
People need to learn when to go away.
Apr 3rd

Tonight!!!!!!!!

I try to discover A little something to make me sweeter Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart Im so...
Apr 3rd

Tonight on Shut Up, Weirdo: When Exes...

frangry: Love is blind. And frequently tone deaf, as well as really, really quite dumb. This week on...
Apr 3rd
Good Morning to you too! I should start watching The Tudors
Apr 3rd
Listen Listen
fusioned: Milli Vanilli - Blame It On The Rain (well, it wasn’t really them but you get the...
Apr 3rd
nedhepburn: Mr Belding’s gonna be at the 1988 Gallery...
Apr 2nd

Also Caroline

San Francisco Chinese Food blows NYC Chinese food out of the water
Apr 2nd

Dear Caroline

Do yourself a favor and walk down to the water, grab either a crab sandwich on sourdough or a Clam...
Apr 2nd
I am going to try the old “toothpaste on the zit” remedy.  Now my question is, do I go...
Apr 2nd
Listen Listen
nedhepburn: The Outfield “Your Love”
Apr 2nd

Um.

I am currently listening to PLJ in the office.  When did they start playing The Bird and the Bee on...
Apr 2nd
Listen Listen
alilbit:jacob: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here …we’re just two lost souls swimmin in a fish bowl,...
Apr 2nd
I present you with ugly baby of the day
Apr 2nd
(via fusioned) Your mom said it once she saw you...
Apr 2nd

What kind of crazy bitch are you

So I took this lame test on facebook because it’s 8:24am and I am bored, and it’s...
Apr 2nd
GPOYW.  The “I need to bone” version
Apr 2nd
tdx: GPOYW — Safety first! Someone needs to tell my friend...
Apr 1st

I just got got

So my cousin calls me up (he manages Beauty Bar where I was last night) and says to me “what...
Apr 1st

dear morans:

Dear realrealsoft: You spelled “morons” incorrectly.  But I do agree with you. ...
Apr 1st
MediaPost: Prepare For Possible Decline In...
Apr 1st
“I wish I was a dude so I could have [redacted] blow me.”
— Ignobliss
Apr 1st
“Wow, Orell just made me LOL, IRL. APRIL FOOLS?”
— Ryan Brown
Apr 1st
Him: Are you still pissed at me.
AntiKris: No, that was just my PMS combativeness...
AntiKris: Sorry, I meant to tell you that, but that was my PMS forgetfulness.
Him: Is there anything you dont blame on your PMS?
AntiKris: No. No there isnt.
Apr 1st

I'll probably get unfollowed for...

But are stay at home Mom’s allowed to post a facebook status complaining that it isnt Friday...
Apr 1st

Currently Listening to:

Papa Was A Rolling Stone such a cool song.
Apr 1st
fusioned: Worlds smallest cheat sheet Small hands usually...
Apr 1st

Um

Coffee’s bean will never be in my bag
Apr 1st
I’m pregnant.  Whose is it? 
Apr 1st
GPOYW
Apr 1st

Does anyone

onesong: antikris: Have or know where I can get some leopard print tights?  This is not an April...
Apr 1st

Does anyone

Have or know where I can get some leopard print tights?  This is not an April Fool’s joke.  I...
Apr 1st