October 2010
Conversations with friends....
Friend: Grabs condom from suitcase to put in jacket and says "in case I dont stay here tonight".
Me: Isnt she staying with a friend?
Friend: Should I grab 2 then?
Me: Im blogging that
There’s nothing like logging onto your dating site, looking at the “who’s viewed me” category, and seeing one of your best friend’s brothers as one of the viewers. Dating sites are a small world, son. Small world.
Attn New Yorkers with iPhones:
There’s a bed bug app called Bed Bug Alert which shows you where in the city, residences and businesses, have had complaints against bed bugs.
It’s humid which pretty much means by the time I get to work I will have a fro, you can lube a car (or something else) with the oil on my face, and I am sweating like a hooker at church. I HATE THE HUMIDITY
whiteleatherpalace:
It’s amazing what a 20 minute subway ride to work will do to you. I leave the house thinking “oh, you don’t look half bad” but when I arrive to work and use the...
“You have 4 kids by 4 different Dad’s and you’re...”
– AntiKris
I have a hand print on my behind.
talk amongst yourselves
I shaved..........
talk amongst yourselves
“I dont feel comfortable having a hard on in the presence of an animal”
– My friend regarding morning wood
My day is shaping up to be wonderful or just...
I looked at my bank account this am to find TWO deposits from work. One was my regular pay, and another, an extra $1100. Now I was overpaid $1200 a few weeks ago and have had to pay back that mistake. I have emailed accounting to ask if this is another mistake or have I received a bonus? Since it was 2 deposits I am thinking it is in fact a bonus and not a mistake. However I have not got...
I blame that Zach Galifawhateverthefuck
frenchelon:
antikris:
for the “teddy bear” look going on. I do not want someone going down on me who may have bed bugs residing on their fucking face. Come on guys, this aint Montana….keep it 5’oclock shadow or keep it neat. GAH
DISAGREE.
If you don’t have to shave your vagina anymore, I don’t have to shave my face.
TRUE! However I finally shaved.
On jealous ass women......
I find it very funny that several of my men friends are “not allowed” to be my friend. I find this interesting since I have never intentionally been with a man who is involved (of course I’ve been lied to before). I know I speak freely about my escapades, and are a bit more “open” than a lot of people….but as far as shady ass bitches go, I am not one of those....
I blame that Zach Galifawhateverthefuck
for the “teddy bear” look going on. I do not want someone going down on me who may have bed bugs residing on their fucking face. Come on guys, this aint Montana….keep it 5’oclock shadow or keep it neat. GAH
Conversations with roommate
Me: dammit, condoms suck, they give you yeast infections
Roommate: You can eat yogurt, or you can rub it directly on your vag apparently.
Me: No shit, maybe I should use that instead of lotion when I rub one out
Roommate: Just dont use MY yogurt, or at the very least, dont double dip!
There’s not much advice I try to give people, as my life should be no “example” of how to live, but I will say this….People: do what you must, screw who you want to, be who you are, but at the very least, OWN WHAT YOU DO. No matter what you do or who you are, if you own up to it, nobody can question you. Be in charge of you, and dont be ashamed of yourself. I cannot...
Julia Allison is a turd
that is all.
Whoa. Tumblr is purple! (I know, always late the...
Children
I have spent a large portion of today on a bus to avoid getting rained on because my umbrella is retarded. Every bus is filled with awful, awful children. Children crying, being bratty, picking their nose and then eating their boogers, and being just all around birth control for me.
I havent shaved my legs in 2 weeks. (or anything...
