On the other hand.....
Perhaps the soft focus would camouflage these few rouge zits I got going on. Must be the adderall I had last week
I AM REALLY SICK OF SEEING ALL THESE HIPSTAMATIC PHOTOS. GUESS WHAT LOSERS, YOU’RE NOT CREATIVE OR A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER, YOU’RE USING AN IPHONE APP THAT 2.4 MILLION OTHER PEOPLE USE. BLOW ME.
baxterp2: I think guys grow horrible beards because they can’t have babies. It’s their only way to be all “Look! I can produce stuff!” thanks for writing this blog post on the tails of my misfortune.
My friend who I'm staying with tonight: should I pick something up from the liquor store?
Me: what a dumb question
I was so drunk I can’t remember if I had sex last night. My hands were...– G
Texts from a weed dealer
Happy Holidays!!! May everyone have a safe & wonderful time with family & friends. From [redacted] & [redacted] p.s. Don’t forget about brownie friday.
Tonight was a doozy
I cant sleep. Tonight I got to work, had my coffee, was in the office putting on some lipstick and my friend Denise came running in and said to call 911. I looked down and saw the largest wound I’ve ever seen in my life, 12 inches long, and cut into the muscle. My mind went into some state where I knew how to make a tourniquet, called 911, knew to get her some juice because she’s a...
I’ve told off about 4 people tonight……perhaps it is time for bed
New roommate awesome....
New roommate: So I was talking to my friend who I havent talked to in a while on chat
Roommate: yeah, this dude I used to date.
Roommate: so I said "yeah, so like are you still playing football?
Him: "Yeah, I play for the Giants?
Roommate: Well I'm not really into sports.
The evils of the internet
Message from Mom: “Please call us back, we’re getting worried about you, John (my Stepdad) says you havent blogged in 15 days!” Note to parents: I am fine, I work 2 jobs and have been INSANELY busy. I had a roommate move out, a roommate move in, have had a cold, and am just so burnt out by the time I get home I fall into bed. If you need to contact me, email is better because...