February 2011
Things I learned at Mo's last night
A Manmosa doesnt necessarily have to be made with wheat beer. You can use PBR too. (oh hai puffy PBR face today)
Apparently my spelling errors on text are saveable
Bollywood has an Indian Bradley Cooper
Big Trouble In Little China is not the same movie with that kid eating the clover
Kim Catrall has had the same hairdo since the 80’s and has aged quite well.
Mortal Kombat got their...
Cause I’m bubbly today!
Elkland-Find Me
I think there's a booger on my iPhone!
and I dont think it is mine!
So early this afternoon when I was leaving dude’s house I decided to smoke a bit to make the journey home more interesting. Interesting it was.
The what seemed like forever walk to the Graham L stop (really 10 minutes MAYBE), was met with a taped up entrance and a sign advising me to take a shuttle bus to Lorimer. Now for normal people this is something which is easily manageable. For...
Last night
My Stepmother commented on that pic I took of myself in the Bar Matchless bathroom and said “How many people take pictures of themselves in public bathrooms? Just sayin…”.
I think it is adorable she learned the correct usage of “just sayin”
I did something bad to my neck. I wish I could say it was by doing something cool like having sex, skateboarding, baseball, or anything that would make sense…but no, nothing in my life ever makes sense. I fucked up my neck laughing. I was sitting next to my boss who was going over some stuff with me and I said “hurry up, I have shit to do”. He responded with “well go to...
I’m out with sorta new man’s friends and everyone is mad the Internet doesn’t work well in this bar. It’s comforting that his friends are dorks too
FUNk
I am in such a weird way right now. I’m so happy over a few new developments in my life, but am incredibly sad for a friend who’s having a really hard time. I almost feel guilty for smiling and when I catch myself doing so, I quickly correct it to the appropriate scowl. I know that is retarded, but it’s just what happens to be going on in this mental ghetto today.
Sad Day
Tonight I decided to check out facebook and see what’s up with my friends. I learned that one of my oldest and dearest friends lost her husband last week, and I am such a bad friend with keeping in touch with the people who matter most, that I had to read about this on facebook….days after the funeral.
I am so sad for my friend. I am so sad over how sad she must be right now. Her...
“sometimes when you’re not looking, you get smacked right in the face”
– AntiKris
I have a crush. A big one.
It’s Valentine’s Day. Dont be angry. Be normal. Who cares. If you have someone in your life, let them know you appreciate them and hopefully they do the same. If you dont, you dont need to feel bad about that. I dont understand why this day makes so many people feel bad about themselves.
Happy Valentines Day!
xoxoxox
I don’t think it is possible to be sexually attracted to a man who uses emoticons
“I tried to tweet a topless pic but unfortunately my breasts are longer than 140...”
– Joan Rivers
Fuck. Now creepy guy is staring at me
Sometimes it’s fun to watch some creepy guy checking out a girl on the train when it isn’t me being harassed.
Some dude just told me I had the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen. He followed up that nice compliment by saying he’d “eat me out for days”. I told him “thanks, but I have my period”. He spilled his coffee.
Fucking Apple
Trying to figure out how to get new songs on my old iPod that Crotchrocket had to do that iPod rip thing to get the songs from it onto my new computer, and choosing songs from my 5000 song library to put onto my 16gb iPhone, and choosing songs to put onto my stupid iPad is a daunting, all day and night task. I think I may need to call the Geek Squad to come help me.
You know what I want?
I want one of those baby sleeping bag things that are all the rage these days. I want someone to push me around the city, bundled up in my own little cocoon.
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip...
Yeah, I know you hate me
My Dad is the cutest
Me: dad, my effin iPad broke!
Dad: how?!
Me: playing Angry Birds
Me: I'm so pissed I just ordered a 40!
Dad: what's a 40?
Me: seriously?! (explains what a 40 is)
Dad: ooh! That sounds good. Can you bring some of those next time you come home?
“Black Swan is boring. Natalie Portman finding her clit does not a good movie...”
– AntiKris
WORST DAY EVER!
I really love my job, but it does have it’s days. Not only is walking around in this slush/orange dog shit snow/cold/puddles of muck just plain awful, it’s driving this about-to-shed-my-egg ass near insanity.
First appointment: Prospect Heights. Stepped in orange dog shit slush. Client, smiled too much and needed a slap. Bookability of client….possible
Second appt:...
