I like to call myself a fifi. This is because many times I feel more like a masturbation device than someone’s “lover”.
Fifi: Homemade masturbatory device most often seen in use in prision.
- - - -
First of all, I had never heard of a fifi until two days ago. I knew dudes in jail got all kinds of inventive with things to stick their dicks in, but I had never heard of this particuar iteration. I mean this shit is nobel prize level. I learned about the Fifi on my date Thursday, which I think is the ultimate indicator that it was indeed a successful date.
- You will need: a rubber medical glove, a towel, a sock, some lube, and a lot of imagination.
- Soak the towel in hot water (for sensation) and wring out the excess water so that the towel isn’t dripping.
- Lay the towel out flat.
- Place the glove onto the bottom left corner of the towel so that a little of the wrist hole of the glove is hanging over the bottom of the towel. Fold the tail of the towel over.
- Roll the glove up in the towel.
- Put the rolled up towel into the sock.
- Fold the wrist of the glove over the towel.
- Lube up the glove.
- Fuck the glove.
There are also variations that include putting raw meat or pie filling into the glove.
- - - - - -
Ok that raw ment/pie filling shit is going a bit far there. Why do that when you have this genius technology involving warm water and latex and lube I mean it’s just like real sex haaay. But then again what do I know I’ve never been in jail. Also I don’t have a penis.