The AntiKris

Photobucket Misanthrope. Sweetie Pie. This tumblr thingy is an attempt to let society into my mental ghetto and to share my daily irritations, inspirations, and investigations....
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Your Daily FYI: How to Make A Fifi

I like to call myself a fifi.  This is because many times I feel more like a masturbation device than someone’s “lover”.  


Fifi: Homemade masturbatory device most often seen in use in prision.

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First of all, I had never heard of a fifi until two days ago. I knew dudes in jail got all kinds of inventive with things to stick their dicks in, but I had never heard of this particuar iteration. I mean this shit is nobel prize level. I learned about the Fifi on my date Thursday, which I think is the ultimate indicator that it was indeed a successful date.

  1. You will need: a rubber medical glove, a towel, a sock, some lube, and a lot of imagination.
  2. Soak the towel in hot water (for sensation) and wring out the excess water so that the towel isn’t dripping.
  3. Lay the towel out flat.
  4. Place the glove onto the bottom left corner of the towel so that a little of the wrist hole of the glove is hanging over the bottom of the towel. Fold the tail of the towel over.
  5. Roll the glove up in the towel.
  6. Put the rolled up towel into the sock.
  7. Fold the wrist of the glove over the towel.
  8. Lube up the glove.
  9. Fuck the glove.

There are also variations that include putting raw meat or pie filling into the glove.

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Ok that raw ment/pie filling shit is going a bit far there. Why do that when you have this genius technology involving warm water and latex and lube I mean it’s just like real sex haaay. But then again what do I know I’ve never been in jail. Also I don’t have a penis.

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